what i know for sure....

I've been in a rut....it's true...and I am missing my old self...

I remember a time when I was affectionately dubbed "smiley" at the office, and lately, I miss that woman. I've been taking myself and life too seriously - allowing a few bumps along the trail to knock me off course.

And no more. Life is too precious - and far to short. I'm back to showing off my pearly whites, re-claiming my nickname and getting everything I want out of life.

L.

deviate

I feel like I've been neglectful of this blog recently....no excuses...and no need for them really. This blog is for me...to collect my thoughts, clear my head and find direction.

But I suppose that a lapse in blogging could be seen as a deviation.

Things are the same and things are different. I have the go-ahead to get back on the bike and to the pool....and to the gym...and since I have only 2 speeds..."on" and "off", I've dived in wholeheartedly. spinning twice a week, swimming three times a week (~ 8-9 km/week), and trying to hit the weights twice a week. I know how great strength training is, I really do, but here's the thing -- its not especially exciting; in fact, its rather dull. I miss running, and hope to get back on the trails in the spring, but if not - there's still road and mountain biking.

Being aware of your limits and respecting your limits are two entirely different things. I feel a bit like a petulant child...still pouting and brooding as my friends head off on various trail running adventures; not fully wanting to share in thier trail triumphs because...well, I'm a bit green.

I guess its normal, natural even....but now I can say yeah....well I did a wicked spin class on Saterday and then swam 3.5 km...

Did I mention I'm a bit competitive....?

L.

sick is sexy....not.

i got a cold from my nephew....kids are good for that...

then i flew for 4 hour on 3 different flights back home from yellowknife....that made it worse...

now its sticking around...my voice sounds all gravelly....maybe its sexy but the hacking and blowing my nose certainly is not...

i wish it would go away...

what waterfalls say.....

i got back on monday night from Yellowknife and a visit with my brother, sister-in-law (I hate the in-law part....sounds like prison lingo) and my cutie-pie nephew.

my nephew is so fun - he's ~ 20 months old and so is really showing some personality and he is really bright -- knows the alphabet, his number...likes to mimic his adult audience; loads of fun! while i am in no position to have a kid of my own and am not even sure if i would want to - i love being an auntie!

we went to visit cameron falls, a local attraction, a nice walk and well, beautiful. if you ask R, my nephew - he'd tell you that waterfalls say "whooosh" (and dinasaurs apparently say "hello").

anyways, this is it, the falls in all its splendor. note the pretty seasonal colours. i heart this time of year.

ps. europe postponed till spring 09 - maybe its a good thing ;-)

travel plans buggered....

I'm a little up in the air with my travel plans since I heard that Zoom Airlines, who I purchased my ticket from Vancouver to Paris declared bankruptcy.

Initially my fear was that I'd be out the ~ 1000$ for the ticket, but since I paid with my mastercard, that is not the case. But then my next worry was getting a replacement ticket, since I am meeting a friend there who is flying in from Utah. I connected with her yesterday and she has yet to purchase a ticket, so now the next big question is should we can the trip or go for it? If we didn't go...we'd defer it till spring most likely.

A quick recon indicates that a replacement ticket will cost between 300 and 600 $ more - and will not be a charter, so I will be forced to deal with the irritation of stop:start travel and changing planes...urgggg and the extra cost.

Anyway, I'll make some decisions in the next few days - but Zoom's financial woes have definately thrown a wrench in my plans.

examining the options....

I am in the midst of applying for a new job....well to be fair, I've applied for ~10 in the past couple months. But this one is different. It's a TA (temporary assignment) for 1 year and its with government in my current city.

I've written my coverletter and had it reviewed by a couple parties. I'm in the middle of incorporating some of the suggestions and edits that have been suggested. But really, I'm unsure. I'm not sure if its a lack of confidence in my abilities or a sense that this isn't the direction I want to go in - but I am kind of scarred to apply.

Realistically, I may not even get an interview. I don't have senior management experience and that is what they are asking for. But I do have the education credentials and I think I have a diverse work repetoire that shows my capability to be a top performer.

On one hand, it would be nice to move this direction and a one year TA gives me a chance to test the water and likely, the option to return to my old position once the year is complete. Urrrrggg I don't know.....Guess I'll just toss my application in and worry about the progression, if any, one step, one day at a time.

course correction....

I so needed a change of pace.

The stress I am feeling was starting to bubble to the surface last week - and I was on the cusp of saying something I might regret. Usually, I am really controlled with how I communicate and I pick my words carefully - but stress can change that very quickly.

So I went to the moutains for 3 days....for mountain air, great day hikes, great food, camping in my tent, catching up with my sister, riding "point & shoot" ponies and going rafting. Yes, that's right - I said rafting. I went on a littel teaser ride....~ an hour, class 2 and it was so much fun.

I can back to my house, my work - a little rejuvenated. No, it didn't solve anything - but it did act as a course correction and help me relax and re-evaluate a bit

L.